The Impastor


My pastor of five years recently got divorced. He didn’t come out and say it. He went about it silently. I wouldn’t have known had he not raised his hands during praise and worship ring-less. It wasn’t my marriage but I was disturbed. I don’t remember the rest of the service because I was so distracted. Marriage is sacred to me. His marriage is what gave me hope in the sanctity of marriage because the marriages in my family are in shambles and divorces are rife. I needed something to believe in.

Men of God are called to a different standard of living. You might rebut that and claim they are still just men but the Word of God says we are never tempted more than we can handle. We are all a result of our choices and please don’t bring the devil into this. In every occupation there are risks, dangers and relevant training that you must go through to qualify. For men of God, they must subdue the flesh and the bible says that it’s a constant battle between the spirit and the flesh.

I am not judging, I am just stating the sin/ error/ mistake as it is according to my understanding revealed to me in the Word. I cannot trust somebody to do for me what they failed to do for themselves. I cannot take prosperity advice from someone that is poor. You cannot teach me Mathematics if you failed at it yourself. Jacob was given the wrong wife and he didn’t divorce her. He just accepted and strived for the right woman.

Marriage is a sacred covenant between you, your spouse and God and should be revered as such. There is a reason most churches won’t allow bachelors to lead the church. These are measures installed to lessen the temptations that are inevitable. God saw that it was not good for a man to be alone and he created woman. I visited River of Life International once and towards the end of the service, the Prophet’s wife stood up and held her husband from the back and prayed for him as he continued to minister to the people. A wife is important in the life of a man of God.

Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.

Dedication: Bind us together Lord

Mood: Insightful and unafraid

Baruch Hashem Adonai

The Prodigal Daughter

prayer_w_captionForgive me Father for I have sinned. We haven’t spoken in so long because I have been distracted by my own selfish fleshly needs. Like Adam and Eve in the garden I have been ashamed. I have been ashamed of all the filthy things I have done from the pain of losing the one I loved. He is with you now so I now have an angel in heaven that I actually know by name. When you took him from me I felt so alone cause he is the best thing you have ever given to me after your son and the Holy spirit.

He showed me what love was. He loved me enough for everybody that did not. He loved me like his blood ran through me. He loved me like you love me. He is the one that showed me what love is meant to feel like. He saw the best in me when I couldn’t even see me. He believed in me, invested in me. He inspired me to be a better person and to fight the demons and the darkness that is in and around me. And then he went home to be with you. I should be overjoyed but I am caught up in my fleshly grief.

I wanted to replace him. I looked everywhere for him. The only time I feel appreciated is when I am under a man of the flesh. So I fornicated. It was a downward spiral from there. For those three minutes I would feel needed, loved, and important but then it would end and reality would set in. I substituted one pain for the other. Fornication led to regret. I felt so empty as the men came and went. Constantly used and I knew it but I couldn’t stop. Or I wouldn’t. Cause this pain hurt less than the loss I was going through.

Father I’m sorry. I’m pulling it together now. I’m trading in the lie that is hurting me for the truth of who I am in Christ. Lord I am tired. Tired of running from you and sinning against you. I am tired of fighting your voice calling me to redemption. Dear God, today please take me out of the whale. I am ready to be yours completely. Holy Spirit help me to heal. You are my comforter and only you can save me from this grief.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Dedication: Jesus Culture – Fill me up

Mood: Vulnerable

Baruch Hashem Adonai

Give to Caesar…

mark-12_17The Holy Spirit has been talking to me about basic money principles and I have been going through a drought patch money-wise and I realised that I am virtually rich but physically broke. I have a lot of money that people owe to me either for services rendered or money they loaned from me but they wont pay. I have never been so disadvantaged in all my life and memories started to flood back of all the money I owe other people. From the maid to my friends. I started to list all my outstanding loans and I was shocked. I now understand what the word means when it says, “Do unto others, as you’d like them to do unto you.” I really don’t like these learning exercises but I have resolved that I will settle all my debts so that my defaulters will make right with me.

Other people even go as far as to owe God. The bible told us to bring all the tithes and yet we overlook that. I once listened to a sermon that said something that hit me in my core and its been etched into my heart, “Tithes are the firstfruits. Tithes are the first money that you use from your pay or source of income.” This means that is you get paid and you use 5 rand from that money to go home, that transport money was your tithe. The money that you then ‘tithe’ after taking out other monies becomes an offering. I am blessed because the church I go to has an Ecocash facility so I can tithe the moment I receive the money because sometimes it cannot wait until Sunday.

What goes around comes around, I understand this now and I repent of all my ways. And this thing of constantly borrowing money is unscriptural and I decree and declare and quicken it into being that I will lend to many nations and not borrow from any. Deut 15:6

Mood : Repentant

Dedication: I will offer up my life

Baruch Hashem Adonai

God will RESTORE!!!!


And David enquired at the Lord saying, Shall I pursue after this troop? Shall I overtake them? And he answered him, Pursue: for thou shalt surely overtake them, and without fail recover all. 1Samuel 30:8

There are times in our lives when we have made mistakes that we feel like it’s impossible to recover from. Sometimes these mistakes lead to a loss in money, joy and even opportunities. But God says that you can recover everything that has been stolen from you.

My life got thrown into turmoil before I was saved. I truly felt like the prodigal son who had lost his substance. I was loitering in life. Had lost purpose and direction. Everybody had given up on me and all my antics. But God wasn’t through with me yet. He drew me close to him and restored everything that I had lost. I went back to school and now I’m about to complete my degree. He mended my family relations and now I have an extensive family support unit.

And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. Joel 2:25

It’s never too late to turn back to God. He is always there and ready to receive you. It doesn’t matter what you have lost and when you lost it because we serve the author of time who can restore the years to you. Be inspired by the story of Job who lost everything and God restored it all back to him. The same God that was working then is the same God that is still working now. Reach out to him today and see the wonders that he will do for you.


Mood : Enthusiastic

Dedication : Darwin Hobbs – He is able

Baruch hashem Adonai

Dress like a King’s Daughter


1 Timothy 2:9 – In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

I have never been the type of girl that always walks around naked or scantily. My mother has always bought my clothes for me and you know she doesn’t have ‘half-naked’ in mind when she procures my clothes. But lately there is a trend on these social networking sites for young girls to show off their sexiness to get more likes. I used to get angry and disgusted when I was of a carnal mind, but now that I am saved and my mind is renewed in Christ I realise that I must pray for them so that God can heal whatever is in them that causes them to act in that manner. When you don’t know who you are in Christ, it is so easy to have an identity crisis. You keep wandering from one thing to the next without purpose. Christ is a solid foundation. You need to know who you are.

I don’t think girls that dress like that realise what they are doing to our brothers in Christ. The word says if a man looks at a woman and fantasizes over her, he is considered to have already done what he was thinking. This includes him downloading and masturbating over your pictures. God condemns all the people that drive his people to sin,

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:29

Everytime you are about to take a sexy picture or send one via whatsapp, first consider what that means for your soul and the soul of the respondent. Let’s carry ourselves as queens.

Proseuche – Prayer! Umthandazo


They say that prayer is communicating with God involving talking and listening. I wish someone had told me this the first day I started praying. The truth is in the past I never really took prayer seriously unless I was in a dilemma. I only communicated with God when I needed him and on my own terms. I realized a lot of times it seemed like God didn’t care about me because it was like he never answered my prayers. But that is not the case. I made selfish prayers and never allowed God to speak to me. I used to actually pray to God and ask him to give me a good a excuse so that I would not go to church or do anything that I was suppose to do.

Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. James 4 vs 3.

With the power of Gods Word and the Holy Spirit I have come to understand prayer at a whole new level. Gods word gives me the wisdom and understanding of the will of God.i now understand what God expects of me and what blessing and promises he has set out for me. Not only do I now pray faithfully in line with Gods will but I claim the inheritance he has set out for me every single day.

And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God. For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass, he shall have whatsoever he saith. Mark 11 vs 22-23.

I used to have a weird sickness. I would be fine then all of a sudden feel a sharp pain in my chest. I wont be able to stand, sit, talk or move at all. It felt like the only thing that exists at that moment ion life is pain and pain alone. I would feel so cold but be sweaty at the same time. Basically it was weird and I still don’t know what it is. But today when the sickness tried to take over all I did was pray. I asked God to take the pain away and claimed my healing in Jesus name. The pain instantly went away. If anyone tells you prayer doesn’t work just know that they are doing it wrong.


Every month I pay my dues. And for as long as I can remember, I have been through the most excruciating pain during my period. It’s usually a topic that most people want to discuss but today I want to address it. We are always told as women that we should be strong because this is our portion. But as I read the scriptures, God said labour would be painful, he said nothing about period pain. With this new found knowledge I decided to rebuke the spirit of sickness that was inflicting pain on my womb on a monthly basis.

Exodus 15:26

He said, “If you listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, who heals you.”
I finally got on my knees and prayed against this pain. What had held me back is the fact that in Leviticus they had made it seem like a woman that is on her period cannot come to the presence of the Lord. What a relief that we have the new testament! Now we can boldly ask God to heal us of all our afflictions without regret. There isn’t a man-made permanent painkiller that solves period pain, its like a benign cancer but God can restore your womb to what he intended and make it painless. Call upon him today.

Psalm 107:19-21

Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress.  He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.  Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men.