Now the LORD had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will shew thee: And I will make thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing: Genesis 12:2
When I got born again, so many things had to change, many things had to go and it’s still an uncomfortable place for me. My ideals, hobbies and habits seemed to all be against what the word of God says. And the thing that threw me out of sync was that it was stuff I was good at. I am an amazing writer (if I do say so myself) but reading all my best work now I realise what a dark place I was in. All my stories were about pain, sadness and anger beyond compare.
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23
I was all kinds of torn, bruised, hurt and broken. If it hadn’t been for the Lord that was on my side, where would I be? Coming from a past of rejection, disappointment and isolation, the love, warmth and acceptance from the church was so uncomfortable for me. I didn’t know how to react when people do nice things for you without expecting something in return. They continued to build me up in the Lord and were my pillar of strength. In the beginning I felt like a burden. I also had pride issues. I couldn’t bring myself to admit that I needed help. And man did I need help. IT was uncomfortable when I’d attend church meetings and it felt like everybody else had heard from God except me. When people would pray in tongues except me. And when people would be overwhelmed by the Holy Ghost except me. Nearly threw in the towel, but I held on. God didn’t love me anyless, he wasn’t deaf to my prayers, it just wasn’t time. I needed to grow.
What then shall we say, brothers and sisters? When you come together, each of you has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. Everything must be done so that the church may be built up. 1 Corinthians 14:26
There are things in my life that I needed to deal with and heal from and it’s a work in progress. There’s pain I need to confront to overcome and pain is never comfortable. And when I have overcome the skeletons in my closet, God will take me to my next level, which will not be comfortable either. I can imagine the discomfort that Noah went through building a boat for 120 years with all those scoffers. But I’m happy, the ride on a chicken bus might be uncomfortable but the destination is mos’ definitely worth it.
Date – 27/03/2014
Mood – Reluctant
Dedication – Michael W Smith – I surrender all
Baruch hashem Adonai